I just heard something someone said about me. It wasn't a good thing. Hearing it really stunk and hurt my feelings. Granted this person I'm sure never meant for me to hear, but that's a whole other story about making sure people we talk to are trustworthy. Nonetheless, you never like to hear when someone has something bad to say about you. It's inevitable that not everyone is always going to like you. The reality probably is, that people talk behind our backs more often than we think. Maybe I'd rather it have stayed behind my back than staring me in the face. Or then again, maybe not...
...because once I got over the initial reaction of defensive mode, and the "how dare you...you barely know me..." blah, blah...it actually really made me go inward and think. And I'm talking, I was getting ready in my bathroom and I caught my reflection in the mirror gazing off into oblivion forever. It really made me think about my character and who I am. After all, the comment wasn't even like, "she's ugly....or fat...or has a big nose"...in fact I almost felt like I'd welcome that comment first before one on my character. I came to the realization within myself that I was generally not what this person had said about me. Also, as is human nature, I talked to people who genuinely care for me and know me better than anyone, not to mention, the people that would "tell it to me like it is". Again, it was confirmed that generally I was not this way.
However, what I came to grips with, within myself, was that I had tendencies to be what this person accused at one point or another. I definitely have the capacity within me to be a lot of things...I am, after all, human. So, I came to the conclusion that however far stretched this comment was, there could be some truth to it and I could be better. Not for this person, not for anyone else, but for me and the Lord.
This experience has made me realize that I want to be able stand up and be a little bit better than I was before. There is always room for improvement and I wanted to take this negative experience and use it as motivation to be a better person.
All of this introspective thinking coincided nicely with Conference weekend, where I was able to hear a lot of great counsel on things that I wanted to work on. I feel a lot of peace and hope when I think of the Saviors Atonement, and the opportunity that it gives me everyday to wake up and be just a little bit better than I was the day before. The point is, that I have to take those opportunities, press forward and CHOOSE to be better. And the Lord has promised that this peace will multiply ten fold if we make those small efforts:
"Be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you." ~ 2 Corinthians 13:11
President Hinkcley said on this matter: "We are all this together, all of us, and we have a great work to do.
Every teacher can be a better teacher than he or she is today.
Every officer can be a better officer than he or she is today.
Every father can be a better father.
Every mother can be a better mother.
Every husband can be a better husband, ever wife a better wife, every child a better child.
We are on the road that leads to immortality and eternal life and today is a part of it. Let us never forget it."
I can actually now say I am grateful for what I heard. I hold no malice for the person who said it. As I said, I don't feel this person, who is a good person, would have ever wanted me to hear what they said. It's funny how the same things in life that can tear us down and have the capacity to lead towards negativity also have the ability to be those things that mold and change us into better people. It all depends on perspective and how we use these experiences in my life.
Wow, if I think about all the negative situations I've been in, in this capacity, I can't imagine the amazing lessons I might have learned, while instead I dwelt on them as purely negative experiences. I have a lot to make up for.
And I'm going to start with trying to be a little better...today.
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11 comments:
Oh Stacy I am so sorry that that happened to you. That's so great that you can walk away with something so positive! I hope that I can be like that!
Thanks Brittany. Really, its nothing that anyone else hasn't dealt with and so thats why I wrote about it. Because it's relatable. Like I said, trying to turn this experience into a positive motivation is a hard thing to do and its a relatively new concept for me...but it has made a huge difference for me already.
Thank you for reading and commenting! You ARE a positive person and I'm so grateful for your insights and comments!
You are right on point. I have had similar situations and I try to take away for them something that will help me. I also feel that maybe that person needs some befriending if they are choosing to put others down. It has been my experience that people who put others down tend to be down on themselves. I think that it helps us to know that our Heavenly Father is there to guide us and help us live to our divine potential.
Thanks for all of your posts. They always give me inspiration and lead to introspection.
It's definitely hard to turn a situation like this into something positive. You are such a good person for doing that. I like that you said that sometimes we can learn from things like this. Instead of saying, "What a jerk that person is," I think that we can look at ourselves and say, "Maybe I can work on that." She shouldn't have been talking bad in the first place, though. What a jerk! No, I'm kidding. I think we have all been on both sides of that situation (talking badly about someone and being badly talked about). Thanks for this post!
WOW! I don't think I could find something bad about you, honestly. But I agree with the comment from Chelle Belle. They most likely are down about them self and have to find someone to take it out on that they may be jealous of. But I love how you turned it around and made something positive about it. I think you did start your day off by being a little bit "better" today with that. Thanks for sharing and helping me in life.
Michelle,
I'm so glad you found my blog and read it AND commented! :)I love your insight of how that person might need befriending...what a selfless thing that would be to do. Thanks for showing me as an example of a way to be better.
Thank you thank you thank you for commenting. I loved reading your insight. Keep commenting please! :)
Maran,
As someone who has known me for a very long time...you know just as well as I do, that I am not a victim in this case only...I at times have for sure said hurtful things about others that I shouldn't. Thank you for pointing out that we are all in these situations, because it doesn't make us all feel as alone. Honestly, and this may sound cheesy, but its my friendships with AMAZING people with integrity like you that help me to want to be a better person. I'm so grateful for that ever present example in my life...thanks girl!
Rachel,
Oh definitely you are being too kind...you know me well enough to know I have my bad points. But I guess thats whats amazing about great friendships like ours...you love your friends despite their shortcomings! :)
Like I said to Maran above and like I've said before, it's my friendships with people like you guys that make me want to be a little better and be more positive in my life. Thank you for always having that positivity. Even when you've had things that are crazy in your life and anyone would have given you permission to be negative, you never are. I love that! Thank you for your comment!
Stacy,
Whoever said something about you obviously doesn't know you. So roll it off your shoulders.
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK???
THE PERSON IS JUST JEALOUS OF YOU.
So there you have it. Can you believe I'm getting defensive for you. I miss you and Rachel. Let's go shopping, go to a girl movie and lunch.
Sam...I love you. You're awesome. I have great friends. Definitely...lets do it. I need a girls day!
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