Today

I'm sure you've all heard the saying, "Today is a gift, that's why it's called the present."

I truly believe this and that's why today, on the eve of a brand new year, I am choosing to refocus myself on working on things day by day. From my favorite quoting book, Stand A Little Taller:

"And now, Israel, what doth the Lord thy God require of thee, but to fear the Lord thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to serve the Lord thy God with all they heart and with all they soul. ~Deuteronomy 10:12

'I don't worry too much about the future, and I don't worry very much about the past. The past is gone, and you can't change it, you can't correct it. The future, you can anticipate, but you can't necessarily do ver much about it. It is the present you have to deal with. Reach out for every good opportunity to do what you ought to do.' ~Gordon B. Hinckley "

Each and every new day comes with its opportunities. We must learn to grasp that time and use it wisely, because that is one thing that cannot be saved and cherished. It goes by so quickly that before we know it, it has been days, weeks, months and years...and all of lifes opportunities are passing us by. And while there is always another day, there is no time like the present. I quoted this already on my personal blog, but I love it, "Today is tomorrow."

I am grateful for each fresh new day that I am able to wake up and have life. I am grateful that I have the blessing of freedom and opportunity, that I can accomplish anything that I set my mind to.

So my challenge to myself...and anyone else who wants it, is to be grateful for each new day and make the best of it. Use it for good, use it to better ourselves, use it to touch the lives of others. Most importantly, as the scripture above states, spend each day walking in the ways of the Lord, loving and serving Him.

I hope you all have a fabulous New Year and make 2009 a year of love, joy, hope, peace...and fun!

Happy New Year!

Sanding the Layers

I took on a project...rather cockily, I might add. I was told while planning the project by a few different people (men) that I couldn't finish it in the time I wanted to.

Hmmm...we'll see about that one.

The aforementioned project was sanding down a painted table that was given to me, in order to restore it and have it match our living/dining area. My husband and I worked together to recover the chairs with some new fabric. That was the easy part.

On to the wood...I started with epoxy/paint stripping. P.S. That stuff REALLY stings when it touches your skin. I became an expert on the timing. It takes about ten seconds for the stinging to reach its high point and it stings at the high point for about ten seconds. Scratching, slapping, patting, shaking...etc., the area does not make it any better. You have to bear through the pain--or be smart enough not to keep getting it on yourself.

After stripping the paint and epoxy from the table and chairs, I started imagining a small side career in refinishing peoples old pieces of furniture. I mean, aside from the stinging spots all over, I was a pro after one day. ;)

The next day I started the sanding. My small side career turned into a "just for me and my family hobby" that I would take on every once in while. Maybe rummage some garage sales.

Then, I sanded....and sanded....AND SANDED. FOR DAYS! I could barely feel my hands after all of the vibration from the hand sander and was about ready to through it across the room on day 4 or 5.

ENTER MY RANDOM FOOD FOR THOUGHT...
Now, you may start wondering where in the heck I drew up these thoughts from this project, but you have to understand, when you are sanding for days on end, hours and hours a day, you have a lot of time to think about wood, (especially when you are blowing sand-dust out of your nose).

I started to think about how in the scriptures it talks about how to become more like Christ, we must become more like a little child. Meek. When you are a little child, you are stripped pretty bare to the bone. There aren't layers and layers and years of years worth of coating and protection. Much like this wood I was trying to restore back to it's newborn state, we put layers and layers atop ourselves to make us look better or protect us, as is human nature.

Whilst amid this project, I had a discussion with my husband and I realized that instead of letting him hear the bareness of my soul, I was coating it with layers of protection. Instead of things he was saying "soaking into my soul" or bare wood, it was bouncing off the layers I had put on. Layers such as pride and insecurity that made me easily provoked or offended and left me unable to humble myself and deaf to the things that he was saying.

Then I thought about that darn table and chairs. How frustrated I was with whoever had painted that table OVER and OVER without ever sanding it down. Without ever taking the proper care and preparation to restore it. It made it so much more difficult for me to accomplish my task, because no matter how deeply I sanded, I could not get to the root of my problem.

I realized in that discussion with my husband, that I did not want to be a stubborn, layer-coated table and chairs. I want to learn what I need to learn and protect and shield myself from those things that may harm or taint my body or soul, but I do not want to put on layers of unnecessary crap for people in my life to try to sand through. It's unfair and gosh darn it, it's annoying as all heck. Don't believe me? Go try sanding a painted table.

While its not an overnight transformation and the project may take as long as my dining set, I feel confident that if I sand down my layers one at a time, I can become a better person and maybe a little more like my Savior.

Leave it to me to read WAY too much into a silly project, but I learned a lot from my little project.

And for those of you who care to know how it turned out...the plan was to sand it down and stain the wood a dark brown almost black wood color. After realizing that the table and chairs were made from two different woods AND that my endless sanding job still turned out to not be enough as the stain did not cover spots that still held paint, we ended up painting a LAYER of black.

So, please disregard the ending of my LITERAL story. It doesn't really fit with my ANALOGY....

...but you get my point, right? :)

And had I had to keep on sanding that puppy, there would have been a sander thrown through the wall.

P.S. Restoring will never be a career nor hobby for me. That dream ended shortly after day 2 of sanding began.

My Cup Runneth Over

"When you are on your knees in prayer, there is an overwhelming feeling of gratitude to the Lord for the many blessings that he bestows on his children." ~L. Tom Perry

The past few weeks, I feel like the only place I should be is on my knees, in prayerful gratitude. My husband and I have had amazing experiences with fasting, prayer and the power of the priesthood, especially in the past few weeks. I have felt the Lord's hand in our lives, guiding and directing us.

Some days I wonder why I am so blessed in my life, as I feel undeservant...(and then I knock on wood). But, I've realized that the blessings that we recieve come with responsiblities. We must use those blessings to better our lives and the lives of others. We must be in tune enough to recognize when we are being blessed. And most importantly, we must show our gratitude to the Lord. When we make the choice to kneel in prayer and supplication to our Father in Heaven, the Spirit can more fully manifest to us just how truly blessed we are.

We just celebrated Thanksgiving, a holiday where we express the things we are most thankful for. We are entering into the "most wonderful time of the year", where it seems everyone is happy and in the mode of service and love. As I start to do my Christmas shopping and plan for the festivities, I am reminded of those who are less fortunate than I. There are some who didn't have a turkey and wonderful spread to eat on Thanksgiving. There are those that don't have anyone to spend the holidays with. There are even those who don't have anywhere to lay their heads on Christmas Eve. I am grateful that my husband and I have the ability to give our child and each other a Christmas. I am grateful that we have so much family in the area, that its not a matter of if we have somewhere to celebrate, its where and how we will divide up the time to be with everyone. I am grateful that I have the Gospel in my life to remind me of the reason for the season.

My list is endless, of the blessings the Lord has bestowed upon me. I will conclude with this...this season is the one time in the year where most of the world is united in a feeling of peace, happiness, joy and love. It's a time where everyone is giving of themselves to share the Spirit of Christmas with someone else. What better time then, to share of our blessings, in every capacity. Whether it be service, or friendship...an invite to a meal or party. A plate of cookies or serving at a shelter. Donated toys or clothes...singing a christmas carol or sending a card. The possibilities are endless. Most of all, let us share and emulate the love of Jesus Christ, who is the reason we celebrate this time of year. Let us show our family, friends and neighbors what makes us truly happy, not just in December, but the whole year through- The Gospel of Jesus Christ.

And before we lay our heads down to have "visions of sugar plums dancing in our heads"... let us kneel in gratitude and supplication, allowing the Spirit to remind us how truly blessed we are in our lives.

***I'd love to hear of some of your ideas of service and your families plans to "spread the Christmas cheer" this year. If you'd like to leave that in the comments section...we can all always use new ideas! Thanks!***

If I don't write about this, I may explode...

I have read many a blog in the past week on this subject. For many who have read this blog, or this blog, or this blog, or just others like unto it, much of this will probably be repetitive. (girls...hope its okay I linked you...I was inspired by your posts).

I wasn't even going to touch on this subject. Mostly because it has been well said in so many places, that I don't feel I can add much to it, but if I don't write about this topic, I'm afraid I couldn't write at all right now. Because really, this has been whats on my mind the past week. So, touch on it, I must. At least just to get it out of my head and move on!

I live in California. A week ago today, Californians voted on a very important and controversial proposition.


8.


This number has come to mean so much in the past few months. An annoying coincidence that it happens to rhyme with the word HATE. It's given the opposing side to this proposition a catchy rebuttal for those of us who supported it.

We had been told that even if the proposition passed, that the battle would just be beginning. I had no idea what that meant, until the day after it passed and the insults hit the fan. They spewed every which way. The 52% of California that believed the union of "marriage" should be defined between a man and a woman, have now been called everything from "intolerant" to "bigots". Even more so, religions have been singled out for their support.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints...my church, has been the bulls-eye of the mud-slinging targets. Through efforts coordinated by its members and NOT its leadership, the members of our church donated money in support of the proposition directly to the cause, mostly via protectmarriage.com. None of the moneys raised came directly from the church. The money that was used was donated solely for that purpose by individuals and families. Unfortunately, this has been gravely misunderstood by the opposing view. Nonetheless, the strong backing for this proposition from my church, whether it be through volunteering time and energy, or speaking with our friends and neighbors, has angered No on 8 supporters.

Honestly, it's understandable. They were the opposition. Of course it would make them unhappy. This, I totally get.

What I don't get, is how people who have claimed that they are fighting against hate, intolerance and singling out of groups, have done just that as their rebuttal to the tight loss. Like my friend said on her blog, sings of "Stop the Hate" next to signs of "Mormons (or Catholics, or whatever) Suck!" is truly confusing.

And honestly, I completely sympathize with why they are upset. They feel that something that was important to them is taken away. They want to get what they voted affirmatively for. Unfortunately, for all of us, that is not the way it works. Not everything or everyone that I voted for passed or was elected. It is upsetting. I'm still very saddened that while chickens have the right to "get their exercise", the rights of unborn children are put into hands of teenagers who as my other friend said it, "can't legally get a Tylenol from school, but can have an abortion." However, it's a fight that I lost. And while I will continue to believe how I believe and vote the way that mirrors my beliefs, I have to respect that I live in America and a democracy in which I was outnumbered.

I don't expect opposing members not to fight. I expect that they will continue to stand up for what THEY believe in. Because I will continue to do the same.

However, I do not believe any feelings of frustration, disappointment, anger...whatever, warrant what has been happening to our sacred places of worship. Our buildings have been vandalized, our holy temple grounds trampled upon and barricaded with protesters. However, "peaceful" and "respectful" the protest, that is not the place, and it will never be respectful. There was a protest at the State Capitol recently. Great place for it, in my book.

Not the temple. Not our sacred houses of worship. First of all, because the Mormon vote made up 2% of the Yes vote, and secondly, because to me, that's like us coming to your bedroom where you make your private decisions about your sexual preference, and protesting what you believe to be right.

Nor do I believe the physical threats are warranted. It is not fair for people to say things like, "Mormon's better watch their backs." There are websites out there with very physical threats on different religions that have supported the proposition. This is no more okay than someone saying that "Gays or Lesbians or Bisexuals or Trans genders better watch their backs". Such threats, no matter the group or motive, is EVER okay. To quote the No on 8 slogan... "It's unfair. It's unnecessary. It's wrong."

I have love for people. I love a lot of people that I disagree with. There are lifestyle choices aside from sexual preference that I don't agree with, but I love the people nonetheless. I have many friends who do not agree with my religious views whatsoever. Some of them have even been members of my faith and chosen to leave, and yet, our friendships and love remain, despite the vast differences in our beliefs. We likely voted very differently this election, but we love and respect each other nonetheless. And that is the meaning of true tolerance. To be able to respect others for their beliefs, views and feelings...and respect the system. We can't reject the system of our government just because some things don't go in our favor. That is life. That is America. And we will keep on believing what we believe, and respectfully fighting for what we believe in.

I respect, that those who voted No on 8 will continue to fight for what they believe in. I only pray that they can respect me for fighting what I believe in.

I do realize though, that no amount of "Christian bloggers" is going to change anyone's mind on this. We need only stand tall for what we believe and continue to be respectful of others.

"Thou shalt not speak evil of thy neighbor, nor do him any harm."~ Doctrine and Covenants 42:27

President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "As a church, we are not without critics, some of whom are mean and vicious. We have always had them, and I suppose we will have them all through the future. But we shall go forward, returning good for evil, being helpful and kind and generous. Let us be good people. Let us be friendly people. Let us be neighborly people. Let us be what members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ought to be."

Not only do we need to be respectful and understanding of others...to stand up and be examples of light and truth, but we must understand that opposition is part of this life.

Spencer W. Kimball- "No pain suffered by man or woman upon the earth will be without its compensating effects if it be suffered in resignation and if it be met with patience."

Concerning this quote, Lloyd D. Newell wrote this in his book, Come, Listen to a Prophets Voice, "While wrongfully imprisoned in Liberty Jail, the Lord taught the Prophet Joseph that followers of Christ are not promised freedom from tribulation but strength to endure all things: 'My son, peace be unto thy soul;thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high....All these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good' (D&C 121:7-8;122:7). Life is a school, and part of that education is hardship. Elder Spencer W. Kimball taught: 'Being human, we would expel from our lives, sorrow, distress, physical pain, and mental anguish and assure ourselves of continual ease and comfort. But if we closed the doors upon such, we might be evicting our greatest friends and benefactors. Suffering can make saints of people as they learn patience, long-suffering, and self-mastery. The sufferings of our Savior were part of his education."

So, although painful as it is to see the Gospel that I love, the buildings that I seek sanctuary in and the people that I worship with, under fire for standing up for our beliefs...that is what we will endure, because it is part of life. It is part of our education and we will be stronger for it.

And not only must we turn the other cheek, but we are required to forgive those who have trespassed against us...

"We cannot repent for someone else. But we can forgive someone else, refusing to hold hostage those whom the Lord seeks to set free!" ~Neal A. Maxwell

"It has been said that lack of forgiveness toward another is akin to consuming poison and waiting for the other person to die. Vindictiveness and hardheartedness stifle spiritual growth and happiness. On the other hand, nothing enlarges the soul more than genuine forgiveness and compassion. The Lord's directive is : 'Ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for their remaineth in him the greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men'(D&C 64:9-10). The Lord who is perfectly merciful, knows our hearts as well as the hearts of every offender. And since we all walk imperfectly before the Lord, we all need mercy. If we wish to be forgiven and draw upon the Atonement, we must forgive. Forgiveness is the greatest gift we can give others- and ourselves."~Lloyd D. Newell

And with that, I understand why I personally needed to write this. I personally needed to understand that I need to forgive those that call me names and trample upon my beliefs. I will continue to stand up for what I believe and hope that we always have the freedom to live in a country where individual feelings and beliefs are still recognized, respected and allowed.

God bless all of us. As Americans, as people, as children of God, we are one in the same.

Forgetting to Remember

I missed this blog. I missed it so much, that I kind of forgot to think about it. Not a good thing for me, which means right now I probably need it more than ever. For me, like I said when I started it, the blog was to reflect on my spirituality daily. It helped me to remember the things that are important and focus on those on a daily basis.

But, I am back...so thats a good sign for me.

Actually, things have just been a little out of the ordinary. My brothers best friend passed away two weeks ago, and I was very reflective at that point about the Plan of Salvation and life after death. Everytime I thought about writing a post, I came up very short in being able to express my feelings of gratitude for such a plan.

Also, we had a family vacation and a holiday and it seems every time I've felt like I want to sit down and reflect (a.k.a. write my blog) I've been distracted. And it's okay, because life happens. What's not okay, is that I don't feel like my mindset has been the same without my blog reflections. So, here I am today, picking back up where I left of, and feeling a surge of the Spirit roll over me like a wave.

Another distraction was my birthday...and for my birthday one of my sweet sister-in-law's gave me a Sheri Dew book. I LOVE Sheri Dew. I've read a number of her books and I really relate to her style of "straight-forward writing". The particular book I was given is called No One Can Take Your Place. My sister-in-law thought of me when she read the inside cover, she said. I can completely understand why. Let me pull a few lines for you,

"Have you ever wondered if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing with your life?...Or, like most of us, maybe you have those days when you just don't see how you'll ever measure up. (This book) will help you catch a glimpse of the power our Father in Heaven wants you to have. It will help you learn how to lay hold upon that power, how to overcome the temptations that stand in the way of your happiness, and how to shine as a leader in the world. It will help you understand who you really are...True happiness comes from doing what we were meant to do. This book will motivate you to find out what that means for you; it will also inspire you to carry out your unique work on the earth, for truly, no one can take your place!"

I would venture to say that I am not the only one that sometimes feels like a "face in the crowd", wondering just how she/he will affect the world. Sure, I understand that I am directly affecting my family and loved ones, but there are points in time where I wonder if I am truly fulfilling my mission here upon the earth. I try very hard to take each step in my life, following the guidance of the Spirit but there are those moments that I stop and think, "Am I where I am supposed to be? Doing what I am supposed to be doing?" I've only read the first few chapters of this book so far, but I am already grateful for the guidance and inspiration it has provided me.

Sheri talks about identifying our "God-given attributes we all have that we need to awaken within ourselves if we are going to do what we have been sent here to do- attributes such as faith, knowledge, obedience, purity, integrity, a clear sense of identity, and courage."

She then goes on to explain each attribute, why it is necessary and what we can do to recognize it within ourselves. I appreciated this list, and looked at it almost as a score card that I measured myself upon. I thought of the areas that I am doing pretty well in, and honed in on areas that I need to work on. Each area is vital and important and plays a part in recognizing our worth and importance in the sight of God, and as a messenger of His in these latter days.

As I mentioned above, the thing I love about Sheri Dew is how straight forward she is. She has been more straightforward in this book so far than I've noticed in any other book. When talking about the attribute, INTEGRITY, she sites a wonderful example of when the Lord asked Eve about what had happened when she was beguiled by Satan, ..."she immediately acknowledged what she had done and accepted the consequences. She didn't lie. She didn't pout. She didn't get defensive. She didn't blame Adam. What humility and integrity..."

For me, this shed a whole new light upon integrity. Most of us would not classify ourselves as "liars". Generally, I'd like to think we all tell the truth. But integrity is more than just truth...it is humility and willingness to take full responsibility for our actions. It is being transparent in our words, our actions, our intentions....everything, so as to not deceive.

Within this section she talks about Satan and shunning him"...like the snake that he is...". Here is where her straightforwardness really hit home for me...she said, "Forsaking Satan may mean changing things. It may require changing wardrobes or changing channels or changing attitudes or changing habits or changing lifestyles or even changing friends, because it's not possible to to sort of dress modestly or kind of tell the truth or act with integrity most of the time,or almost be morally clean. Nine percent tithing isn't tithing, it's a donation."

Whoa. That paragraph slapped me in the face. It doesn't matter in which "important areas" I have forsaken Satan. Yes, generally, I have forsaken him. But that is not good enough. Have I completely forsaken him? I would have to admit that with a resounding NO. I wish I could say that I have...but do I always change the channel when I need to? And this is just one small example. While we are not expected to be perfect we are instructed to progress towards perfection. Sheri wrote, "The object of this life is not to become perfect. Could we all just pledge to give that up once and for all! But it is to become increasingly pure, which will eventually lead to perfection."

Perfection almost seems too broad to even comprehend. It not only to me means free from sin, but also have I done all that I was meant to do? This is why I appreciate Sheri Dew's clarification of becoming increasingly pure, so much. It makes clear sense.

Webster's dictionary defines the word pure as this-

(1): unmixed with any other matter (My translation- of one purpose and focus).

(2): free from dust, dirt, or taint (My translation- sin)

Basically, pure is clean. Clean is understandable. Clean is a process...but clean is attainable.

Everyday will be a battle for it. If there is one thing I've learned, it's that everything I think I've learned, has to be applied everyday in order to maintain the affect. The Gospel isn't a video game where if you accomplish a certain level, that you've passed it on and no longer need to return to the basics of the game. Every day, these processes must be visited and built upon in order to continue to learn and progress.

The scary thing about forgetting...is that Satan loves to work with the forgetful. He has a way of keeping us from forgetting to remember that we forgot...(haha it makes sense if you think about it enough. )

I've spent more time recently forgetting than remembering. I am overwhelmed when I think of all of the blessings in my life that I so easily forget about and the Spirit that I feel when I am in a mode of gratitude and rememberance. I'm grateful for the opportunity to be reminded and renewed.

Because if I don't remember why I am here and what I am here to do, then what is the point?

Joy in the Journey

Everywhere we go, we hear talk of change. A new president, either party promising change. Changes that hopefully will help our failing economy. Changes in our personal lives...our jobs, our relationships, our health, our financial status, our home...and the list could continue forever. Because there is nothing so constant in life, as is change.

Our current Prophet, President Thomas S. Monson spoke in our General Conference address last weekend about change. That is the inspiration for this post, as it has been on my mind since hearing him speak, and in the last few days numerous friends and family members have brought up this talk in conversation with me. I have been impressed that its something I really need to learn and understand.

President Monson said, "Throughout our lives, we must deal with change. Some changes are welcome; some are not. There are changes in our lives which are sudden, such as the unexpected passing of a loved one, an unforeseen illness, the loss of a possession we treasure. But most of the changes take place subtly and slowly."

Not one person is exempt from the inevitability of change. We are not alone in dealing with it...and we owe much of who we are, what we have and who we will become, to change. Without it, we could not learn and progress.

"Day by day, minute by minute, second by second we went from where we were to where we are now....Time never stands still; it must steadily march on, and with the marching come the changes." ~ President Monson

Each and every second...life is happening and if we think about how short this life really is, we would not want to waste any more of it. President Monson admonished, "Find joy in the journey- now."

He also quotes a line from the musical, The Music Man, “You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you’ve collected a lot of empty yesterdays.”

When I think of that line, it makes me think about how much of a procrastinator I can be. How often I tell myself, "One day." And how a lot of the time, that day has not come and probably will never come. Especially at my young age, I know I look toward the future a lot of the time to give me the things I wish for. And while I think it is wise to always be looking to the future and planning for things to come, we shouldn't be gazing off wistfully waiting for the future to happen. Before we know it, the future will be our past and we will have missed out on many of life's greatest gifts and treasures, looking for the ones we thought lay ahead for us in the future.

"There is no tomorrow to remember if we don’t do something today." ~ President Monson

Much of finding joy in our journeys has to do with learning from our past, but not dwelling on it. Especially upon things we cannot change. The other day I was looking at all of my daughters baby pictures. She'll be two next month...and I'm sad. I'll never have her as my little baby again. The thought brings tears to my eyes and I don't ever want to let her go. But, that change is inevitable. Dwelling on these unchangeable details will do nothing but cause me unnecessary sorrow. I need to relish in her adorable two-year-old-ness. I need to take advantage of my opportunities to teach her, love her, kiss her, hug her, cuddle her, read to her, play with her...etc. Because if I don't, I know I will blink and she will be 18 and ready for her own life.

Life is stressful. There is so much to think and worry about all the time. So much so, that a lot of the time we don't take the necessary opportunities to show love to others. Families pressed for time constraints due to extra curricular activities, meetings, homework, TV shows, etc... don't always take the time to have dinner with one another, talk and express the love they have for each other. While all of those things have their time and place in life, the importance of these relationships and the necessary time and effort needed to cultivate them, far outweighs any other obligations. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.” And President Monson added, "We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us...Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved."

No one wants to feel the regrets of it being too late to share how you felt. Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.” If we can't find the time to find the joy in our relationships with our loved ones, nothing else we do in this life will be worth anything. It's like the parent who goes to work all day to support their family, yet exhausts themselves beyond a point of functioning when returning home. While it is necessary to feed, clothe and shelter your family, it is just as necessary to nurture them with your love and presence. Family relationships, more than any other kind of relationship, must be cultivated. No amount of money will buy back the lost time and experiences.

We wait, everyday, anticipating change. I do it very much so myself. I love having something to look forward to. I don't think this is a bad thing, but only as long as it is within balance. We should look to the future for hope, but we should relish in our daily lives and be grateful for each day we are living. Things that I do today ARE the future. Today and now is the future of my life and they make a difference. And for this, I must be grateful.

President Monson also discussed the importance part gratitude plays in our lives. We must recognize and show our gratitude for the blessings in our lives. Blessings sometimes manifest themselves in ways we would not expect. I always think about this when I'm running late due to circumstances beyond my control, like red lights or a traffic jam. I think about how frustrated I am with being late, but that perhaps it is a blessing and the Lord is protecting me from an accident that could have happened. This is an extreme example, but I think we need to look more at our lives and the blessings within them. Always waiting for something bigger and better to happen is a slap in the face to the Lord who has blessed us so greatly. Unfortunately, sometimes we never understand how greatly blessed we are, until we lose it.

There is no time left in my life for complaint. There is no time left for waiting for things to happen. Inevitably, sorrows will come. We will all encounter trials in life...some that will seem unbearable. Somehow, we have to strive to find joy in the journey of it all.

I have a blessed life. One in which I can't even begin to understand how I was lucky enough to be given. I have led a joyous journey thus far and look to continue to find the joy in my everyday life.

One of my favorite quotes is from President Hinckley, "Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured." This quote sits on a plaque in my kitchen. It reminds me everyday that the Lord meant for me to find joy in this life. He has done his part in blessing me with those joys...it is then left up to me to find them and joy in them. My part is the easy part.

Change is inevitable and change is hard. Change is what makes this journey of life, life. And my goal is to find joy in that journey.

Be A Little Better

I just heard something someone said about me. It wasn't a good thing. Hearing it really stunk and hurt my feelings. Granted this person I'm sure never meant for me to hear, but that's a whole other story about making sure people we talk to are trustworthy. Nonetheless, you never like to hear when someone has something bad to say about you. It's inevitable that not everyone is always going to like you. The reality probably is, that people talk behind our backs more often than we think. Maybe I'd rather it have stayed behind my back than staring me in the face. Or then again, maybe not...



...because once I got over the initial reaction of defensive mode, and the "how dare you...you barely know me..." blah, blah...it actually really made me go inward and think. And I'm talking, I was getting ready in my bathroom and I caught my reflection in the mirror gazing off into oblivion forever. It really made me think about my character and who I am. After all, the comment wasn't even like, "she's ugly....or fat...or has a big nose"...in fact I almost felt like I'd welcome that comment first before one on my character. I came to the realization within myself that I was generally not what this person had said about me. Also, as is human nature, I talked to people who genuinely care for me and know me better than anyone, not to mention, the people that would "tell it to me like it is". Again, it was confirmed that generally I was not this way.



However, what I came to grips with, within myself, was that I had tendencies to be what this person accused at one point or another. I definitely have the capacity within me to be a lot of things...I am, after all, human. So, I came to the conclusion that however far stretched this comment was, there could be some truth to it and I could be better. Not for this person, not for anyone else, but for me and the Lord.



This experience has made me realize that I want to be able stand up and be a little bit better than I was before. There is always room for improvement and I wanted to take this negative experience and use it as motivation to be a better person.



All of this introspective thinking coincided nicely with Conference weekend, where I was able to hear a lot of great counsel on things that I wanted to work on. I feel a lot of peace and hope when I think of the Saviors Atonement, and the opportunity that it gives me everyday to wake up and be just a little bit better than I was the day before. The point is, that I have to take those opportunities, press forward and CHOOSE to be better. And the Lord has promised that this peace will multiply ten fold if we make those small efforts:

"Be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you." ~ 2 Corinthians 13:11

President Hinkcley said on this matter: "We are all this together, all of us, and we have a great work to do.
Every teacher can be a better teacher than he or she is today.
Every officer can be a better officer than he or she is today.
Every father can be a better father.
Every mother can be a better mother.
Every husband can be a better husband, ever wife a better wife, every child a better child.
We are on the road that leads to immortality and eternal life and today is a part of it. Let us never forget it."

I can actually now say I am grateful for what I heard. I hold no malice for the person who said it. As I said, I don't feel this person, who is a good person, would have ever wanted me to hear what they said. It's funny how the same things in life that can tear us down and have the capacity to lead towards negativity also have the ability to be those things that mold and change us into better people. It all depends on perspective and how we use these experiences in my life.

Wow, if I think about all the negative situations I've been in, in this capacity, I can't imagine the amazing lessons I might have learned, while instead I dwelt on them as purely negative experiences. I have a lot to make up for.

And I'm going to start with trying to be a little better...today.