Love At Home

Remember when you were a kid, and you'd fight with your siblings and your mother would come in singing, "There is beauty all around...when there's love at home..." and we'd all roll our eyes and say, "Oh, mom!"

Okay, what happens when now YOU are that Mom and trying to be the peacemaker in your home, and singing "Love At Home" is the exact last thing on your mind? It's enough to make you want to cry for your own Mommy to come save the day.

Today, I had my "few hours" of that. I don't want to say it was a moment, because if I classifed it as a moment, that would make it seem brief, which it was definitely not. Marriage is really hard...parenthood is really hard, and sometimes, you just want to not have the knowledge and maturity that you do, so that you can just throw your temper tantrum and feel okay about it. Otherwise, if you're me, you throw your temper tantrum anyway, and then feel bad about it enough to go write a blog on it. :) Hey, that's how I deal.

I won't go into details about why or what even happened to provoke the temper tantrums, because I don't want to make the blog THAT personal, but I will say, as in most marital disagreements, we were both at fault. I can admit though I'm the one who ate two spoonfulls of chocolate frosting afterward. That might give you some insight into maybe why my MOODINESS (hint, hint) came into play.

And I will say, it's all good now, and my husband and I love each other insanely. He is the most wonderful man and I'm so grateful for him for so many, many reasons. Sometimes though, he ticks me off. I think thats part of marriage...and in a way, I think it's healthy.

So, part of the way that he gets over things is that he ponders quietly (sleeps)...and he just gets over it. Like, snap...it's done. I've gotten better at that, where we can just do "knuckles" and say "Truce?". I've amazed myself with that, since I'm usually a big dweller. However, today, I'm dwelling a little. But in a good way. I pulled out my trusty new favorite book, Stand A Little Taller, by Gordon B. Hinckley, and flipped through the days that have already past this year. I found a great thought on February 21. Goes like this...

"LOVE AT HOME

Cease to be idele;cease to be unclean; cease to find fault one with another;...And above all things, clothe yourselves with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of perfectness and peace. -Doctrine and Covenants 88:124-25

Imagine how our own families, let alone the world, would change if we vowed to keep faith with one another, strengthen one another, look for and accentuate the virtues in one another, and speak graciously concerning one another. Imagine the cumulative effect if we treated each other wit hrespect and acceptance, if we willingly provided support. Such interactions practiced on a small scale would surely have a rippling effect throughout our homes and communities and, eventually, society at large."- Gordon B. Hinckley

So for me, what this quote meant was that, although its really easy to take our anger or frustrations out on those that we love the most, because we know they love us and will forgive us, it's truly not fair. They are the ones with whom we should give the MOST respect. Especially our spouse...our best friend. That scripture really hits home when it says, "...cease to find fault one with another..." because sometimes, it seems thats all we do. It's so much easier to down play your own problems, when pointing your finger at someone else. But when the Lord says, "Cease..." we should probably stop. And really, after the adrenaline slows down and after the (chocolate frosting settles in your stomach), and you humble yourself to realize you had some finger pointing to do at yourself, then you wish that maybe you had just ceased from the very beginning.

Ultimately, we are human...and ultimately as I stated above, marriage is hard and parenthood is hard. We are all going to lose our tempers and sometimes our home will no always be in a mood of breaking out in hymns. That's a reality. But, for me, I hope that I can learn from this that its not worth it to continue on pointing fingers to fault find because all its going to bring is regret. Coupled with the regret from the dang chocolate frosting....